You know you're ready...

for a child when you:

-teach your puppy to eat properly;
-put your puppy in a timeout;
-schedule puppy play-dates;
-teach your puppy to share his toys;
-and teach your puppy to not growl while sharing said toys;
-get embarrassed when your puppy doesn't obey the first time;
-constantly talk to your puppy with the coined 'baby talk' language;
-refer to your puppy as your child;
-take great pride in your puppy's wits;
-take great pride in your puppy's good looks;
-have a designated play area in the house (so your puppy is always in view, and all his toys are in one place);
-hurt a little inside when Papa really punishes puppy for not listening to Mama;
-plan fun outings where your puppy can run and frolic to his heart's content;
-feed your puppy first before yourself;
-get excited when puppy "does his business" when and where you want him to; and
-have a diaper bag for your puppy.

Except... that we're just not ready. Sorry.